New! WWE Dolls!
by Charisma Enigma
Summary: WWE's new line of dolls! With funny descriptions and accesories.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own none of the personalities mentioned, they are property of the WWE. These products are not real, and if they were they wouldn't belong to me either.

Summary: Exclusive! The new line of WWE action figures with humorous descriptions and accesories.

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New! Anatomically Corect Golddust doll: Now you can solve the age old mystery of his/her gender!

Rody Piper doll: Find out what's really under the kilt!

Michael Cole doll: "I don't like boobies" shirt sold seperately.

Vince McMahon doll: Now with BAMF walk. Bank account and credit cards not included.

Linda McMahon doll: Watch her pop-a-wheelie in her wheelchair!

Shane McMahon doll: Comes with a coupon for free dance lessons!

Stephanie McMahon doll: Now with baby-popping action!

New! Egde doll: Do not store with Lita doll, results may be ugly.

Shawn Micheals (Heart-Break Kid) doll: Now with free "Sweet Chin" sheet music!

Triple H doll: Now with water-spitting action! Store with Stephanie McMahon doll to add little McMahons dolls to your collection!

Anatomically Corect Maria doll: As seen in Playboy!

New Diva Doll, Jillian: Caution: May sing loud and off key. Please, keep duct tape handy.

John Cena doll: Now with 5 different Cole-bashing phrases!

Kane doll: Comes wih free pyrotechnics! Do not store with Lita and/or Matt Hardy dolls.

Randy Orton doll: Ass not included. Special yellow-bellied edition comming this fall!

Jeff Hardy doll: Comes with free hair dye and a pass to rehab! Drugs not included.

Matt Hardy doll: Comes with cupon for a free appendectomy! Do not store with Jeff Hardy doll. Other dolls may be damaged by repeated Swaton-Bombs and ladders

Umaga doll: Wash before use. Bulldozer not included. Jamal doll is completely unrelated and sold seperately

Stone Cold Steve Austin doll: Comes with free case of Budweiser. Zambonie not included.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any persons or characters in this. They belong to WWE. These products are entirely fictional.

A/N: Ok, I wasn't going to add on to these, but since you guys like it so much..

Some of these fictional product descriptions are a little off-color and a bit morose but play on recent events. These will be marked with ( !) You've been warned. 

New! Chyna doll: Not anatomically correct - developmental department couldn't decide the gender either. Do not store near alcohol or drugs. Plays well with Triple H and Shawn Michaels doll. Just don't abuse or tease said dolls..

Umaga's brother's doll: Who cares about his name? Not available for 30 days. ("Me: Wonder if anyone will get this?")

Ric Flair "The Dirtiest" doll in the ring: We mean this quite literally. Wash before use. Nature Boy edition sold separately, loincloth included.

! Accessory for the new Jeff Hardy doll: His house! Comes with a small bottle of gasoline and matches. Dog not included, stupid PETA bastards.

ATTENTION: Jeff's girlfriend doll no longer available. She mysteriously disappeared after Charisma Enigma was hired..

New Triple H doll! Now sponsored by Preparation H.

New John Cena doll: Comes with "Basic Thuganomics" textbook. Certification test held every month and requires a 750 "donation" to "Injured" Wrestlers Anonymous.

London and Kendrick dolls: Do not put in tag-team match with other tag-team dolls. Kendrick doll will not stay in ring. 

Lita doll: Comes with miniature replicas of items sold at her last match. Dildo not included for sanitary reasons.

The Rock doll: Can you smell what he's cooking? Comes with pink-and-white gingham apron, spatula, mini-hibachi grill and a roll of toilet paper.

Old School Hardy Boyz jobber dolls: Dolls automatically fall down two minutes into a round.

Electronic Sabu doll: Now with realistic scars. Caution: Do not try these moves at home. There, all legal basics covered..

John "Bradsaw" Layfield (JBL) doll: Comes with white limo with removable horns. Strap them to his head and notice the remarkable resemblance to the Dark Lord Satan!

Rated RKO dolls: Technically, rated PG - ask old school ECW fans. May not stay together long. 

Special Offer! Buy three dolls get a free shirt!

Front reads: Fuck you World Wildlife Federation!

Back reads: We were here FIRST!

Tell me what you think. Please post a review.


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